The Real Deal

What is your real deal? Today, I read a post from a woman stating that she was thinking about leaving her husband of 5 years & companion of 10 years. She stated that the reason was that her husband had changed his attitude from wanting kids to not wanting them as she brought up the subject recently. She went on to tell that he said he was afraid of not being a good father & among the other reasons from the amount of work they take & how hard they can be.

She then went on to recite a very common female desire to bear children & being envious of her friends that were having children. From what she wrote, I saw multiple issues colliding that I will lay out here. I will outline some of the issues that I saw. You can make your own conclusions, but I hope that it provokes you to step back & take a look from a different perspective on your important decisions.

First of all, the husband obviously is either making the excuse to try to get out of the relationship, he & his wife have grown apart, or he is just scared. Either way, he needs to man-up & get to the core of what his real issue is with having children & deal with it because children are a gift! On her side, I see one major issue when she states that she is envious of her friends having babies. I totally understand the innate desire that many women have to bear children & I have the utmost respect for those who chose to.

The problem I see is that she is stating that it is the thing to do, like there is one way you should live. This leads millions of people into chasing the Jones' their whole lives. It is an easy set-up for dissatisfaction & even depression if one of your pieces doesn't fit into your life's puzzle. She is letting something outside of herself define how she feels about herself & how happy she is. In my life, I have found that it is best to find happiness in yourself & to try my hardest to see people for who they really are. This could be a prime example of how people will act different when courting their spouse. Slowly they change back & the real people they are comes out & they notice that they do not love the new real person that their spouse is.

I believe that marriage, having children, & faith are major decisions in life & should be treated with the same respect you would give to anything you love. There is a saying that, "to see the rainbow, you must first go through the storms." Life is not easy, but we can make it less difficult by being real & staying true to who you are & what you love. If you do live this way, the right people will come into your life & wrong people will be taken out of it. So, I challenge you to take a look at where you are today & if you find yourself not happy put down what would make you happy & jot down some steps you can act on to get there & take them. Peace, Love, & Happiness to you all