The Real Deal

What is your real deal? Today, I read a post from a woman stating that she was thinking about leaving her husband of 5 years & companion of 10 years. She stated that the reason was that her husband had changed his attitude from wanting kids to not wanting them as she brought up the subject recently. She went on to tell that he said he was afraid of not being a good father & among the other reasons from the amount of work they take & how hard they can be.

She then went on to recite a very common female desire to bear children & being envious of her friends that were having children. From what she wrote, I saw multiple issues colliding that I will lay out here. I will outline some of the issues that I saw. You can make your own conclusions, but I hope that it provokes you to step back & take a look from a different perspective on your important decisions.

First of all, the husband obviously is either making the excuse to try to get out of the relationship, he & his wife have grown apart, or he is just scared. Either way, he needs to man-up & get to the core of what his real issue is with having children & deal with it because children are a gift! On her side, I see one major issue when she states that she is envious of her friends having babies. I totally understand the innate desire that many women have to bear children & I have the utmost respect for those who chose to.

The problem I see is that she is stating that it is the thing to do, like there is one way you should live. This leads millions of people into chasing the Jones' their whole lives. It is an easy set-up for dissatisfaction & even depression if one of your pieces doesn't fit into your life's puzzle. She is letting something outside of herself define how she feels about herself & how happy she is. In my life, I have found that it is best to find happiness in yourself & to try my hardest to see people for who they really are. This could be a prime example of how people will act different when courting their spouse. Slowly they change back & the real people they are comes out & they notice that they do not love the new real person that their spouse is.

I believe that marriage, having children, & faith are major decisions in life & should be treated with the same respect you would give to anything you love. There is a saying that, "to see the rainbow, you must first go through the storms." Life is not easy, but we can make it less difficult by being real & staying true to who you are & what you love. If you do live this way, the right people will come into your life & wrong people will be taken out of it. So, I challenge you to take a look at where you are today & if you find yourself not happy put down what would make you happy & jot down some steps you can act on to get there & take them. Peace, Love, & Happiness to you all

Better Judgment

I have read the words, "against his better judgment" in many different stories. This popped into my head today when I saw a group of people protesting against another. They had no problem declaring that they were right in the eyes of God. I always find this very intriguing, because they do so using the Bible as their support for their judgment.

The thing that makes this so interesting is that this very same text makes a very prominent example & statement by Jesus that we are not to judge others. So, if I had to evaluate their actions, they are demonstrating selective religious practice. Does this make sense to anyone else? I think it is fine to have your own prerogative on what you believe, but at the core of every religion I have ever read or been told of is LOVE. To Love, among other things, you must be able to show & practice compassion. Openly attempting to discriminate against others & trying to make them feel bad is not practicing Love or compassion in my book.

I fully understand that in this world there are different cultures & sub-cultures that attempt to ingrain their beliefs & prejudices onto one another & even others they come in contact with. I know this all to well coming from a small town in the Bible belt. I chose to live above these ideals that I find to be misconstrued or flat out false. If my attempt at living a just & faithful life does not please others, they can just as easily choose not to be a part of my life. Either way, I will continue to practice a lifestyle that reflects what I believe to be how I am supposed to live. I choose to practice LOVE. My question to you is this, do you have any prejudices that you still hold just because of where or how you were brought up that may be hurting others? If so, I challenge you to try giving those up for a little while, practice compassion toward whatever you were spending your energy disliking or hating, & see how you feel when you let go of the negative energy & replace it with positive. Peace, LOVE, & Happiness to you all!!!

Bless You!
Thomas

Never too Late...

I have been considering a major life change for the past year, after I realized I was not where I wanted to be & that it is never too late to re-create yourself. So, I have been researching & planning the new direction for my life. Soon, I will share that direction with the rest of the world. I feel called to do more to, as Mahatma Gandhi put it, "be the change you want to see in the world." Since I was a very little boy, I felt bigger than I was, richer than I was & like I was going to do great things in this life. Growing up poor, I really had no reason to believe that I would be something great & never have to worry about food or money like my mother had to do for us.

One thing that my mother never taught me is to think that I was any less worthy than the other kids that had things that we couldn't afford. So, I have never stopped dreaming & having this feeling that I was so much more than this body or mind that I share. In the next year, I will start a Children's Charity that will focus on helping kids with development needs whether they are physical, social, or mental. The name of the charity is HKS (Hugs, Kisses, & Smiles) & will focus on children that are caught in the rift between poor & middle class that have needs, but get looked over by many helping organizations. We will pair with many children focused organizations to raise funds & ensure that this organization lives on past my years with the help of dedicated volunteers & leadership.

I have had this idea for many years, but always thought that I would start this organization when I got older & was a seasoned business professional. Then I woke up & had a meeting with reality & it showed me how I am living without guarantees & that I should just get started with the things on my bucket list, so that when I am done here I don't look up at the faces of my friends & family & say those words that are the foundation of why people are scared of death, "I wish I would've." I choose instead to live my life now & say when my time comes, "I lived a GREAT life!" One thing is guaranteed, death will come but until it is here I will be living to live & not waiting to die. Is there something you have been waiting to do that you could at least begin today? If so, for yourself, just do it! Thinking, "not that easy?" I don't know anyone that was given a guarantee when they were born that life would be easy, so do it for yourself. Peace, Love, & Happiness friends!!! :^)

Bless You!
Thomas

Balance

Lately, I have been thinking about writing but just have had no time to do so while attempting to keep balance in my life. I could easily name all of the reasons I have not had time. The main things that have been taking up my time all revolve around my active lifestyle. I began thinking of this post a few weeks ago while riding my bike, because I have started riding again & do so for the most part without hands.

While doing so one day, I began to think about the concentration & balance it takes to do so while riding on uneven roads complete with obstacles & cars passing by. Thinking through this brought me back to how we all deal with this same sort of balancing act with our daily lives. While our lives may be drastically different, fact is that we all deal with trying to keep balance in our lives. Whether it is the competing demands of our work, family, friends, hobbies, or personal passions, each day is different & we have to make choices that are the best for our overall happiness.

Our success is crucial & you could say that if we lose balance we lose a little bit of our "Ness," or that which defines who we are. As for myself, if I had to let a labble fall on my "Ness," I would most likely be considered a high energy social butterfly athlete. I like the air that follows & surrounds me to be light, happy, & positive. I refuse to let the disappointments, how ever bad they may have hurt me mentally, physically, or emotionally define me. What defines me is & forever will be my faith & love of this life I have been graced with. Fact is that no one ever lays on their dying bed & says something like, "Man I wish I would have worked more." So, if you are holding on to any baggabe today, however hard it may seem now, please know that we were never promised that we would fully know the direction we are supposed to take at the start of things but you have to keep dreaming & reach for them with every last breath because we were meant to accomplish great things. Just let go of the ledge & test your wings, because I know you will reach heights that you never dreamed of. Peace, Love, & Happiness to you all!!!

Bless You!
Thomas